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erin

erin

I'm Erin Jo. I'm thinking, writing, dreaming, mothering, loving, living, praising, BLESSED to be Fiona to my Shrek and Mommy to my four amazing kiddos.

dave

dave

Shrek is "like an onion with many layers" but has a heart of gold. He's my husband and my friend, and we just get better all the time.

lily

lily

Lily is my first baby and only girl. She's smart, funny, tall and kind. Keeping up with this girl is a challenge and a joy. She's terrific!

max

max

Max is one part ogre, two parts lover and all boy! Our little man has a temper but gives the best hugs of anyone I know!

colby

colby

Colby is as ornery as he looks. He flirts shamelessly, even with strangers. He's all mouth and curls and the loudest by far.

luke

luke

Luke is the baby of the family, but holds his own. He's happy and adorable. And he's a terrible sleeper. =)

Bunnies and Butterflies



It’s hard to stay on an even keel in this world. Our human emotions can take us so many places, both welcome and unwelcome. We face each day not really knowing what it will bring, but pursuing it anyway because there is no alternative.

I’m becoming even more in tune to the slight–and not so slight–dips in my mood, my energy, my ability to kick it every day. That is remarkable to me: that I am able to discern those slight changes, that I am able to be aware at all of my own self in the spinning, harried ballet that is my motherhood.

I told you last week that I loved fall. And that’s true. But it’s always been a hard season for my marriage. I sometimes think Shrek’s love for the Steelers equals his love for me. And that can be on a good day in the fall. Let’s not even start on deer season and the many hunting seasons for every small creature. (Run, rabbits, gather the squirrels and the snipes and get moving…)

On my worst of days, I’m miserable. Womanhood and motherhood team up to pound me into the ground in turn. I’m frazzled, short-fused, unproductive, poor. On my best of days, I’m remembering my reasons, taking life in stride, feeling challenged but triumphant.

Today, I’m all of these things. The weekend is winding down. I’m nearly ready for the b%#*& that is Monday morning. I’m up too late, unshowered, behind on so many things, but maintaining. I’m remembering how I got to see a very special little girl meet her new furry little friend at a birthday party Friday night; how I cleaned, within an inch of its life, my upstairs on Saturday morning; how I rocked my $2 yard sale dress at a wedding that night; how I managed to upright myself and four children and dress all in respectable church clothes all by myself to attend Mass this morn; how I laid on a blanket and looked up at the clouds with my babies at Lake Tweet this afternoon; how I soaked up a visit with my sis, my mom and seven children at my sister’s new place; and how I rolled with all the punches. There were about a million details in all of that. It was, it is, my life.

An amazing thing happened tonight. All four of my children were in bed. The sun was still up. I had the urge to go on a run. And my running shoes were actually here at the house, and not in the camper where they’ve been hibernating most of the summer. I tied those laces, grabbed my iPod, hit the sidewalk and ran. I’m every bit as unfit as I thought I was, but it isn’t as bad as it could be. There’s an athlete living inside of me, of that, I have no doubt. The madonna has been taking precedence, but it just might be time for the athlete to rise, if only a little.

I ran. I walked. Alternated the two. I planned to wear better underwear next time and to lose the dangly earrings. It was nice. And life-affirming. And necessary.

And, of course, when I got back, I paid for it. The baby had been up, screaming off and on for fifteen minutes. But momma got him back to sleep, rocked the sit-ups, conquered the dishes, had to ask for help on the morning prep and got it.

Tomorrow is another day. It’s imminent, welcomed, unknown. I’m not going to wait for the other shoe to drop, but instead force it to land in the right direction.

Here’s to hoping the melancholy will be gone, to be replaced, as Lily sometimes says, with “bunnies and butterflies,” or, in adult-speak, happiness.

One Response

  1. Anonymous says:

    Kyla Farmer Hang in there Erin! You are doing an amazing job at both motherhood and womanhood! And you aren't alone, love ya
    August 29 at 12:35am · Like

    Amy Coleman-Heiss I always look forward to your blogs,and know you are most diffently not alone :-).
    August 29 at 3:16am · Like

    Julie Mayle I think you are doing great, and I think you are more human than you sometimes want to be. Its all normal to have those feelings and emotions, so don't beat yourself up. Hope your week unfolds nicely for you.
    August 29 at 5:55am · Like
    Erin Roberts Was really feeling ok, just a bit pensive. I had a very short, choppy night if sleep, but still going to find those "bunnies and butterflies" somewhere today.
    August 29 at 6:21am · Like

    Julie Mayle I think you'll find them too!!
    August 29 at 6:39am · Like

    Karen Rutter Okay, Erin, I know the weirdest things catch my attention, but what caught my attention in this blog – and made me laugh – was the comment about "planning to wear better underwear next time". I had an instant mental image of what that means when I'm thinking I need to wear better underwear. It means the elastic is either totally shot or the underwear are flat out too big, so it's 3 or 4 steps, hike up underwear, 3 or 4 steps, hike up underwear and on and on. Anyway, it made me laugh. And that is the one thing that you have total control of, too! Even if you can't alter Dave's Steeler craze or his hunting season, you CAN wear better underwear! :) Drink from the saucer!
    August 29 at 7:19am · Unlike · 1 person
    Erin Roberts I debated on that line.;) So glad it added some authenticity! I deserve strong underwear! ;)
    August 29 at 8:10am · Like · 1 person

    Anita Newsom one of your most awesome blogs ever….love it. and I laughed about the underwear too! ;)
    August 29 at 10:59am · Unlike · 1 person

    Lynn Greathouse Wright Erin, For some reason I just read this blog and want to say it is awesome. It's funny, interesting and you are a wonderful writer. I need to check out all of them!!
    August 30 at 4:57pm · Like

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