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erin

erin

I'm Erin Jo. I'm thinking, writing, dreaming, mothering, loving, living, praising, BLESSED to be Fiona to my Shrek and Mommy to my four amazing kiddos.

dave

dave

Shrek is "like an onion with many layers" but has a heart of gold. He's my husband and my friend, and we just get better all the time.

lily

lily

Lily is my first baby and only girl. She's smart, funny, tall and kind. Keeping up with this girl is a challenge and a joy. She's terrific!

max

max

Max is one part ogre, two parts lover and all boy! Our little man has a temper but gives the best hugs of anyone I know!

colby

colby

Colby is as ornery as he looks. He flirts shamelessly, even with strangers. He's all mouth and curls and the loudest by far.

luke

luke

Luke is the baby of the family, but holds his own. He's happy and adorable. And he's a terrible sleeper. =)

We’re Only Human

Time defeats me. I mean to blog and to blog well, but time gets away from me. Tonight, I’ve been watching a random movie chosen by my hubby, “chatting” electronically with a dear friend who had one of those kinds of days that turns your yellow green and has you questioning things in life you thought were givens, and, finally, catching up on some other blogs, some I’ve read for years and others I’ve just recently begun to follow.

It’s the kind of night where I couldn’t decided between a cold, alcoholic beverage and a sweet, hot tea. (Hot tea won.) And also the kind of night where part of me wants to be up in bed, snug with the hubby, while another part of me wants to be here, on this computer, reading about humanity all night. And then, there’s the part of me that says it’s a Saturday night in late spring and that where I really should be is at Lake Tweet, far, far away from all of this technology anyhow!

Alas, I’m here. I’m reflecting on the past, both the recent past of this week and the not-so-recent past of events that I had no control over that formed my life in such definitive ways. And I have some thoughts on a couple of things.

And while I can’t get into all of them, the overarching theme is that we’re all human.

A lot of my blogger buddies are hitting brick walls, having panic attacks, striving to be better mothers, contemplating giving up on the blogging, asking for prayers.

Me? I’m being quiet. These are all perfectly human responses to being a blogger, which, in essence, means you’re constantly putting yourself and your life and your opinion out there for others to read and dissect, many times without your having known they have done either.

And not only are we human (me and you), but our parents are human. They are imperfect humans who are older than us and who just happen to be our parents. They make mistakes. They are us, only older. And different, too. So, not us, but like us. Are you with me?

And our children? Well, they are human too. Our small children, our grown children. Maybe we’re 95 and they’re 70. Hopefully we’ll be lucky enough to see those kinds of numbers. If we do, we’ll be lucky… and we’ll still be human, just older humans.

I have a confession to make. Well, it’s nothing bad. Just a revelation maybe. I’ve been busy busy at work. And I’ve been a little crazy, whacked out, hormonal the past couple of weeks as well. (Yes, Shrek, I have.)  And this week, I had the opportunity to attend something that I really would have liked to have seen. But I declined. Because I’m human.

I declined because it would have made me vulnerable. Perhaps broken me on a week where I couldn’t afford to be broken. And by broken, I mean, I could have been thrown into a valley… an emotional valley from which I might not have wanted to climb. By not going, I did myself the favor of dodging a bullet that could have made the next couple of days really stressful.

And now, here it is, after midnight. And I’m rambling. But that’s okay. I forgive myself. Because there is so much going on in my mind and in my heart and in my life.

And I’m human.

This human has decided to wrap it up for the night, to join said hubby in warm bed. And to go boldly into a new day, with new vigor, new challenges, new potholes, new revelations.

And, in the coming weeks, I’ll welcome a slowdown. I’ll get to know myself better. I’ll remember to be gentle with myself and with others, and to keep my mind open.

Because we’re only human.

6 Responses

  1. Karen Rutter says:

    A lot of people are afraid to do what is “right” for them. They’re afraid of other people saying “you’re just avoiding it because it will make you feel _____ (bad, sad, guilty, whatever fills in the blank). Who cares what they think! It’s important sometimes for emotional and mental self-survival to walk around the bull; you don’t always have to take it by the horns. You’re doing a great job as a mom, wife AND Erin Jo! You’re livin’ it right, and it shows. Great blog, love you!

    • EJ says:

      Right on, Karen. Thanks for the approval. I love you too. Your reading and your commenting both mean a lot to me. Take care!

  2. julie says:

    I myself avoid some emotional bullets yesterday. I spent 6 hrs around folks that love Timmy. I briefly spoke to many of them, just to advoid that emotional bullet on a day I just wanted to remember him being there last year with that infectious smile of his. And, it worked. I spoke to his daddy and his mama. I talked a good bit with his dad, as I do daily at work. And as we were leaving, Diego looked at Tim and said…”are you Timmy”, I said no his name is Tim, Timmy’s daddy. And then Diego said, “Where is Timmy”. At the same time Tim and I said, “he’s in heaven”. Tim went on to tell Diego that Timmy wasn’t here with us but with Jesus and that he will always be here, just not physically. So, so much for advoiding the final emotional bullet… but Tim handed it so well, he understands the mind of a child. Great blog Erin, love you.

    • EJ says:

      I know you miss Timmy. But he changed your life in such a positive way. I’m proud of you for getting out there and helping out. You’re gold. Love ya!

  3. Jessica Yost says:

    Thank you for your words of wisdom sweet friend. I always feel that you have my back. I am learning to accept that the ones we love and admire most are human. I too have been avoiding situations that will make me vulnerable and raw. I am trying to be strong for the superhumans that are suffering right now. I hope to see you soon. I hope I am done with puke patrol right now. Everyone under 13 has been through it. I’m ready to go back to work:)I’ll catch you soon:)

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