Free As We’ll Ever Be

Self-portrait :: Me and Colby, October 2009

While the Zac Brown Band wasn’t at Jamboree in the Hills this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about their most recent hit. We really are free as we’ll ever be. This is it, kids. Quit aching for more when you have it all!

I find my freedom in consuming a Nicholas Sparks book in 24 hours. I find it in hard-shell chocolate-covered ice cream with my hubby and kids, in the gorgeous Kodak prints I picked up from the post office, in hearing the heartbeat of my unborn child, and in the messy red curls and ornery grin of my one-year-old. I find it in looking at all the Facebook photos of new babes I know. I find it in a walk with my sister, in catching up on gossip and rehashing Jamboree 2010. And I find my freedom in that I got to do all of these things today.

My little brother Jon likes the song except for the repetitive “But we ain’t got a lot of money” line. Yes, they say it SEVEN times in a row. But I think that’s just because it’s So. Damn. True.

We ain’t got a lot of money, but who the &^$#)* cares? I’m not lonely. I’m not sick. I’m not wishing away my present for a future that’s not guaranteed.

I’m free as I’ll ever be. And it’s a goal of mine to remember that. Maybe I can’t run away, because my responsibilities as a wife, mother and employee keep me here, but at least I’m free to be a wife, mother and employee. I’m valued in spite of my sex, my lineage or my race. I’m lucky. And I can choose how I spend my time, how I speak about others, how I contribute to my family, my friends and this world.

All is well in my corner of the world tonight. My wish is that you can say the same…