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erin

erin

I'm Erin Jo. I'm thinking, writing, dreaming, mothering, loving, living, praising, BLESSED to be Fiona to my Shrek and Mommy to my four amazing kiddos.

dave

dave

Shrek is "like an onion with many layers" but has a heart of gold. He's my husband and my friend, and we just get better all the time.

lily

lily

Lily is my first baby and only girl. She's smart, funny, tall and kind. Keeping up with this girl is a challenge and a joy. She's terrific!

max

max

Max is one part ogre, two parts lover and all boy! Our little man has a temper but gives the best hugs of anyone I know!

colby

colby

Colby is as ornery as he looks. He flirts shamelessly, even with strangers. He's all mouth and curls and the loudest by far.

luke

luke

Luke is the baby of the family, but holds his own. He's happy and adorable. And he's a terrible sleeper. =)

Follow the Course

So long, so sorry. But not, on the other hand. Because I have been very pensive lately, and I’m working on not feeling so guilty for not being perfect at so many things, for not pushing myself to the absolute limit in every facet of my life.

I’ve been busy with my family. There was sickness, and lot of it. There were influenza cases, ear infections, four stomach viruses and, finally, a sinus infection for me. Mommas are usually the last to fall, and that was true for me. I did what I had to do and then succumbed. But no drama! I’m fine. I was a smart little cookie and marched myself right to the doc. Got a whole bottle of horse pills, and I’m feeling much better, thank you!

I’ve also been spending lots of time with my husband. We’re sharing a common addiction, and like the meth that was Breaking Bad in the fall, Sons of Anarchy has reeled us in with a Vise-Grips-like hold. It’s not my cup of tea, or so I would have thought–the violence, the crass language at times, but yep, I’m hook, line and sinker.

And I’ve been spending other quality time with Shrek as well. The guy is gold. The marriage is solid. For this gift alone, I owe the world something. How much?

Because that’s the other thing I’ve been busy doing: thinking about my dreams, my goals, my inner self. She’s tough. She beats me up sometimes, thinking, as I mentioned above, that she needs to be perfect at everything all the time. And I’m not sure where she got that. Certainly, drive and determination are a good thing, but how long can we chase a dream before it chases us? How hard can one be on oneself before being too hard? That is, how long before a goal to work toward becomes a noose around your neck?

I’m not sure yet. What I am sure of is this: I am doing more things right than I am doing wrong. I’m really good at being a wife and a mother, and in those things, I am bettering my part of the world. I am a good friend and sister and daughter. I am really good at a lot of things. And perfection is really, truly only found in the things God makes: newborns, nature, the balminess of an August night.

And so I’ll be gentle with myself. I’ll do the next right thing in front of me. I’ll continue on the path of my life, and I’ll look for the open doors. But I’m also going to chill on the couch with my husband. I’m going to take that nap with my sweet nearly two-year-old baby slumbering peacefully on my chest, his head tucked under my chin. I’m going to write, when and where I can, in all my different outlets.

And I trust that things will become clear to me. That I’ll find my way with peace in my heart and purpose in my actions. I will hear what He is saying, and I’ll follow the course.

All I ever have to be is what You made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As You daily recreate me, help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be is what You made me.

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