Oversharing
Me, on a lighter night, coloring my hair and sending a silly selfie to a friend….
I could title this post any number of things. Over it. Living right. Can’t Erin anymore. All is well. ‘Roid rage.
I’ve been all those places this week. And last. And maybe the week before. I’m on a 24-day steroid taper. Turns out, that kind of med might not work with my already crazy life. I’m already living on the edge of what I can do, and there have been moments and hours and days in the past week when I’ve been far over the edge, in a black hole of many makings, not able to Erin anymore.
But today I’m OK. I can say that this challenging time has been good in one way: I’ve written more. And I’ve thought about writing a ton.
Rather than blog, I think I’ll just share a journal entry with you. Here’s your glimpse into what I’m really thinking, today, at about 1 p.m., over a lovely solo lunch and an iced pumpkin spice coffee….
“Dearest,
Wow. All I can say is that steroids are no joke. I have been up and I have been down. Extremes seem to be the name of the game. The allergic rash is gone, and the psoriasis is smooth, but there’s still a lot of it. I’m nervous to see how it will be a week or so past the steroid finale, but what is worry? Wasted energy.
I have a lot of seemingly wasted energy lately–if that’s what worry is. Most of my worry is financial. I fought that low bank account all weekend and so far this week. I did finally get paid today. Now I have to be the squirrel in the forest, stockpiling and guarding the nuts to make it through the winter, or, in this case, just the next two weeks until the next payday. This, of course, will be very difficult, as I have a trip to New York coming up, Lily’s birthday to plan and gift and the usual. Again, God will cover me. And I may buy a lotto ticket just in case He wants to end my financial misery once and for all.
So. A busy afternoon ahead, my Friday inhale, and then another busy weekend.
Goals: 1) Love on my kiddos. 2) Spend quality time with Dave. (We’ve hardly seen each other this week.) 3) Prepare for my trip, three days working and two extra days for FUN. 4) Remember that the steroids are casting cards. Don’t make rash decisions based on temporary angst.
The sun is shining. I am so blessed.
Much Love,
EJ”
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Love you, love the blog. Love the struggle. Without the struggle the good, non-struggle times don’t seem to be noticed as much.
Love this photo of you! Looking forward to catching up and hearing all of your crazy stories.