Pivot
It’s that magical time of year when spring blooms all around us. Every day, a new flower or type of bush is blooming. I typically commute to work for hours each week, and I mark the weeks by what is blooming: the forsythia, then the ironwoods and redbuds and so on. This year, I feel like I’m seeing spring burst forth day to day. I’ve got the time to do that now: to walk in nature with purpose but with a clearer head, more flexibility with my time and my thoughts and my path.
Oh, I’ve got a lot of time to think.
Tonight, my whole family was supposed to spending a second night in a hotel a state over, where my daughter, Lily, was supposed to be shining at Spikefest with her regional volleyball team. It was a three-day tournament, with play long into the night, and we were all really looking forward to it.
But the entire season has been cancelled now. Instead of pulling up her kneepads and controlling the net from her middle hitter position, she’s taking a lot of walks with her dear, old mom.
I would have loved to have seen how far she and her team could have gone this season. I still wonder about the remainder of the school year and whether or not I’ll get to see her and Max compete on the track and Colby and Luke compete on the baseball field. I just don’t know.
And, honestly? I have had some very hard days this week, sifting through the news stories, my emotions, the thoughts and reactions of my friends and family, and hearing opinions I just don’t know if I can get behind, even though they are held by people I admire and trust.
So I’ve been a little quiet. I’ve been thinking. I’ve decided, as I always do, to trust my gut. Give grace. Remember it’s about the people, and not the places. All my life lessons seem to rise to the surface at times like these. And they give me peace.
No one knows how this is going to play out. But I know this: my worst day of struggling with my mental health, balancing my life, dealing with changed plans and cancelled events I was really looking forward to is leaps and bounds better than the worst days of some of the physicians, nurses and medical professionals throughout the country and the world, who are in dark days now of treating COVID-19 patients with limited personal protection equipment, lack of beds and the absolute void of any drug to fight it whatsoever.
In thinking of these life-and-death situations playing out in hospitals everywhere, it becomes very easy to step back from the melancholy long enough to recognize that my burden is so light. I am SAFE at home, as opposed to STUCK at home. And I can still gather my girlfriends for a Wine & Whine. (SO important!)
I am loved and fed and employed and aware. I have been focused on the things I can do: I can stay connected with loved ones through phone and video calls and in-person conversations from six feet away; enjoy card games, craziness and baking with my kids; and through the doing of good deeds. (Please stop littering, folks!)
I can get through the unknowns and the theoretical differences and the feelings. I can pray and write and laugh and cry.
I can pivot.
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Life right now is full of changes. You perfectly share the emotions we are all feeling right now. I , like you, choose to look at all the good things happening now and my blessings. We can control our attitude and I am thankful and choose joy! Great blog once again!
You are right Erin, again! I find that our emotions and spirit changes every day, sometimes hour to hour. Almost as fast as our weather changes. Everyone has an opinion and generally it differs from ours. We just have to agree to do our best and make this work.