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erin

erin

I'm Erin Jo. I'm thinking, writing, dreaming, mothering, loving, living, praising, BLESSED to be Fiona to my Shrek and Mommy to my four amazing kiddos.

dave

dave

Shrek is "like an onion with many layers" but has a heart of gold. He's my husband and my friend, and we just get better all the time.

lily

lily

Lily is my first baby and only girl. She's smart, funny, tall and kind. Keeping up with this girl is a challenge and a joy. She's terrific!

max

max

Max is one part ogre, two parts lover and all boy! Our little man has a temper but gives the best hugs of anyone I know!

colby

colby

Colby is as ornery as he looks. He flirts shamelessly, even with strangers. He's all mouth and curls and the loudest by far.

luke

luke

Luke is the baby of the family, but holds his own. He's happy and adorable. And he's a terrible sleeper. =)

A New {Old} Perspective

Girl grows upI just spent some time reading old journals, first from Colby’s infancy and then even older ones from my college days, my early days with the man I now call my husband. And while there was strife, I closed those notebooks with a giddy happiness. We made it. And I wish I could tell that young lady that I’m proud of her, that it all works out. But what’s the fun in knowing? Nope, she just had to live it, and here she is, more of herself.

And what peace there comes from knowing where we’ve been! I love to imagine my wiser, older woman self, looking back at these days, these journals with their worries and nuances. And I hear her say to me, “Breathe. Breathe in those babies. Wear that short skirt and your favorite sassy boots. Your body is as good as it is going to get, and, by the way, it’s marvelous. Love your husband. Honor yourself. Drink it up. How I wish I were young like you again.”

That perspective. That’s what we miss when we become too busy to see. We don’t reflect. We miss warning signs and hit potholes we’ve hit before. We forget to trust our gut, to see the beauty right in front of us, to reach out to our husbands in forgiveness because tomorrow may never come.

And thank God for that girl who wrote those journals. The hours she poured her heart out and examined every fiber of her growing relationship with that brooding, dark, sexy guy. And the hours she spent on homework and volunteering with the AIDS Task Force and Habitat for Humanity. Oh, that girl. She complained about having too much time to think! And to read and to worry and to obsess about things she couldn’t control. She worried about letters she wrote and skipped workouts so she wouldn’t miss important calls! Oh! How the times have changed.

She wrote those letters with purpose and put them in the mail with stamps. And they went to friends in Colorado, a father in prison, a friend who left school to marry her love that was twice her age (and still happily married today, thank you!)

That girl. She worried about her major, struggled to find her purpose, wondered what her life meant. She had dreams she didn’t know if she deserved, a debt she wanted to pay to the world and enough insecurity to talk herself out of the Peace Corps, a work study trip to Australia and the permission to be young and dumb and experiential.

And she was marvelous.

I’m so glad to know that now. And to have put one foot in front of the other every day since then and made a life I’m proud to live, with a beautiful family and more friends than there are stars. What blessings abound!

It all worked out, just the way it was supposed to. And if I die today, I want you and my children and my mother and my sister and my husband and my God to know, I am happy. I loved every minute of it, even the ones I hated, because they brought me here. It was worth it!

And I hope in 15 years I have this moment again. That I read the things I write now and have this same moment of clarity. That I honor the person I was, the person I am and the person I become.

And I want you to have that moment too.

6 Responses

  1. Julie says:

    Erin Jo!!! Love this!!! You seem to be able to put into words what we feel. I have begun to notice life around me so much more. I remember when each of the boys were born it was a few months of reflection, too. Now that I have had all this time off work I have spent days going thru pictures and thanking God He brought me thru those times, and I’ve end up here. This point in my life. Great words my dear, great words!

  2. Leanne says:

    I like this. :). Thank you for writing this. It reminds me that sometimes reflection on the past could put the present more in focus!

  3. Barbara J says:

    I love it to… Thank you for sharing… :)IT was exactly what i needed to hear this morning

  4. Traci says:

    Love this My beautiful amazing friend! Love you and have missed reading your written words. Love and miss you terribly!!

  5. Chris Schweikert says:

    Oh Erin, how I have missed your blog!!!! You really do make me think and slow down and appreciate what I have. I do take the things that mean the most for granted. Life is too short and I just need to slow down and enjoy it right now!!! Thanks Erin for reminding me of that.

  6. Jessica Yost says:

    Beautiful and inspiring! Love you dearly! Thank you for sharing your gift with us and continuing to blog. So proud of you my friend! Miss you like crazy…we must catch up before the holidays:)

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